The Dopamine Trap: How Your Messes are Actually Self-Medication.
You're not self-sabotaging, you are giving your future self a gift
It is not an unfinished project, it is a snack for later, a dopamine reserve waiting to be tapped.
You’re not unorganized and lazy, you are leaving yourself an opportunity to regulate your system at another time; when you need it, when the mood strikes or when your system is craving some ice cream that awesome dopamine high.
This is not a new concept, the idea of “manufactured urgency” we produce to motivate us into action has been discussed and agreed upon. But I think it’s more than processing procrastination, or dumping a last-minute shit-load of focus on a project due. It’s an opportunity to feel yourself loved by no one else but you.
I am sharing this in case someone needs reminding that our survival skills don’t always look alike. Our strategies are called dysfunctions, disorders, and a mess, but if you remember their true purpose, they can be the medicine that helps your mind truly rest.
We are perfect and exactly as we envision ourselves to be. Fuck the piles and the guilt and shame. Consider yourself lucky that you have that escape. Take a breath, when you want to go into overwhelm, and remind yourself that it could be alcohol, crack or cocaine.
Which I have nothing against, it’s just that the unfinished projects tax your system and your brain, but it can rarely land you in the hospital or in the grave.